How to have a feminist Christmas

16 Dec

It’s the most wonderful time of the year… except for women. Women statistically do most of the unpaid labour and shoulder the majority of the mental load for the rest of the year… only to see it ramped up while everyone else puts their be-slippered feet up in front of Elf.

If you think about it, Christmas is the most un-feminist time of the year. We’re expected to prepare a huge meal, squodge ourselves into a sequinned dress, smile the whole time and a fat old white man gets all the credit for our hard work. (Cheers, Santa.)

And that’s before we even touch on the mental load – what are we going to buy Aunty Carol? Will your newly vegan cousin have enough to eat? Has little Billie got her shepherd’s costume? Do we have enough Quality Streets and gravy granules and Sellotape and matches and on and on and on?

So, this year, let’s make it a feminist Christmas so we all have a bit more fun.

1. Share the load

If you’re not the person who shoulders most of the burden in your house (be honest with yourself), go out of your way to muck in this year. And don’t, whatever you do, wait for a list or a set of instructions. When you do that, you’re increasing the mental load on the already exhausted soul who’s juggling a million different schedules, needs and dietary requirements. Look for what needs doing, then just do it. Without saying anything. Pick up the turkey, chop the potatoes, check the kids’ schoolbags for letters about the Christmas bake sale, then bake something for it.

2. Have facts at your fingertips

Stay calm when Uncle Terry gets on the “women already have equality” train or when your cousin’s new boyfriend asks “when’s International Men’s Day?” (it’s the 19th November) and hit ‘em where it hurts with these great facts:

Women STILL earn nearly 20% less than men and the gap has barely narrowed in years.
Women are 50% more likely to be misdiagnosed when having a heart attack.
In advertising, 41% of ads show women as housewives, only 28% in an office.
Female drivers are 47% more likely to be seriously injured in a car crash because seatbelts are designed to fit the male body. (@ellewilks)
More people die in storms named after women. The public are more likely to underestimate the severity than they would for a storm with a man’s name. (@EdCallowWrites)

3. Skip the shame around food

Christmas is a time for food, booze and letting loose. But we don’t need to talk about it. Comments like “I’ll never fit into my trousers for New Year’s” or “Get me straight down to Weight Watchers come January 2nd” might be really hurtful if someone in the room or on your social media is struggling with their eating or their body image. Eat, drink, be merry, or don’t. Just STFU about it.

4. Avoid assuming people’s life choices

Don’t ask women when they’re going to put a ring on it or why they haven’t popped a collection of sprogs since you last saw them. Not interesting. Not your business.

Fair enough, given that we’ve all been actual hermits for the last two years, your conversation skills might be a little rusty. So, here are some alternative convo starters to reach for if you feel the unmistakable belch of a ‘marriage and babies’ question surging through your throat:

Watched any good films lately?
Eaten any good snacks lately?
What’s the thing that made you happiest this year?
Would you rather spend the rest of your life with Boris Johnson’s face as your face, or sleep spooning him every night for the rest of your life?

5. Watch something feminist

Shake up the family viewing schedule this year. Gather round the old telly box and stick these feminist classics on:

(Some of these come with trigger warnings. Check the synopsis before you dive in!)

Thelma and Louise

Steel Magnolias (Claire McCabe)

The Hours (Felicity Wild)

The Bold Type (Helen Hill)

Grace & Frankie

I May Destroy You

Hannah Gadsby – Nanette (Mel Barfield)

Thank you, generous feminists for your excellent recommendations.

Happy Christmas, beautiful people. Enjoy the break and see you in 2022.